MCDONALD'S: MAKINITBETTER GLOBALLY (FAIL)

Honestly, WTF is going on in Japan? Seriously. This fuckin' monstrosity, curiously named Mc Gratin Croquette, "contained a deep fried Macaroni, shrimp, and mashed potato burger served on a bed of cabbage."


Alright, alright, you win Japan - You're the craziest!! That is until Germany gets hammered at a McDonald's and takes it up a notch, then it's on bitches!


Oh wait, Africa wants in on this too. They always seem pretty rational on the news. ESPECIALLY during elections and genocides and whatnot.
We're not sure about the "exotic African sauce." Apart from that it looks edible, but nice try anyway.

Canada, really!? Jeezus, you too. A fuckin' lobster sandwich with a side of fries and a watery diet Coke!?!?!
(Those wacky Canadians also get to order a goddamn pizza by screaming into the Meat Clown's face at the drive thru. We shit you not.)

N-E-way, Japan still holds the belt. Although we hear South Africa is gonna start offering Mc Soylent burgers in the fall. Japan says you're welcome.


RANDOMLY BETTER GEEKY JOKE:
More XKCD after the jump.

MICHAEL SWAIM

"This motherfucker is mos def makinitbetter!" - Big Irv.

The 7 Most Mind-Blowing Foreign TV Moments -- powered by Cracked.com

BTW, Swaim would probably say, "You're welcome," and he's mos def been knighted.

RANDOMLY BETTER UNINTENTIONALLY COMEDIC GENIUS:

This Tony-Hawk-lookin'-horse's-backside wants to help us "focus" on what we're are doing by giving us... wait for it...

63 goddamn suggestions!

Really, we were having a little trouble with the ONE fuckin' thing we were supposed to get done by five. N - E - way, umm, thanx shitstick. And just as an added bonus, he's known as The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur. We shit you not! (We love it when a pun comes together.)

SEXUAL HARASSMENT

These folks also have sensitivity training videos entitled, "Why can't I say nigger?!" and "Girl Guides: I'd hit that!" Obviously, they've been Knighted.




Shout out to HolyTaco for these and much more after the jump.

RANDOMLY BETTER: For any of you ladies out there who have been enlightened by those videos, here's How Lawsuits Work.
(BTW, How Lawsuits Work would have been the GREATEST 'School House Rock' jam of all time. Just sayin'... "Court injunction junction, what's your function?")

SIT COM, BITCHES!

Kenny Powers is fuckin' in and you are FUCKIN' out!! BTW this only scratches the surface of how awesome this show is. You're welcome.


RANDOMLY BETTER: The Black Keys. You're double welcome. (Get it? Yeah, we suck.)

MOVIE TRAILER

"Now THIS is how you make a fuckin' trailer!" - Sully

RANDOMLY BETTER FOOT MASSAGE:

SUNDAYS WITH LOMBARDI

If you didn't already know, The Boogie Knights are into football. We mean, REALLY into football. We've also been loooking for something to read on the weekends since newspapers are going the way of the walkman. (The internet is the i-Pod to the newspaper's walkman, the same but MUCH better.)

That's why we love Mike Lombardi of the National Football Post.com If you haven't been on his tip on daily basis, at least check out his Sunday columns. They are superb, just like in the golden age of journalism when a columnist did more than just stroke the fire du jour.

With newspapers tanking and a bazillion shitty blogs like ours adding nothing to the mediasphere it is refreshing to read a true, insightful columnist like Mr. Lombardi. If your parents knew how to use a computer, or for that matter what the internet was, they'd love him. And that's saying something because your parents are probably assholes. N-E-way...

Here's his latest. You're welcome.

RANDOMLY BETTER MIKE LOMBARDI SPORTS ANALOGY THAT CAN BE APPLIED TO BUSINESS AND OTHER ENDEAVORS:

"Hope is often mistaken for a Plan."

...Church!

WOLFRAM ALPHA

It sounds like something that's going to be in the G.I. Joe summer blockbuster, but it's actually a search engine... but better... sorta... we think? We're not sure or sold yet, but the smarty pants at ReadWriteWeb are... sorta:

"The hype around Wolfram|Alpha, the next "Google killer" from the makers of Mathematica, has been building over the last few weeks. Today, we were lucky enough to attend a one-hour web demo with Stephen Wolfram, and from what we've seen, it definitely looks like it can live up to the hype - though, because it is so different from traditional search engines, it will definitely not be a "Google killer." According to Stephen Wolfram, the goal of Alpha is to give everyone access to expert knowledge and the data that a specialist would be able to compute from this information."

We already have a vast amount of "expert knowledge" trolling the webosphere for porn, so we're not sure how useful this Viking-God sounding search engine is gonna be, but anyway. You can read the rest of the pre-review here on ReadWriteWeb after the jump.

It's not a new invention, but Wolfy is makinitbetter. That's all we ask... sorta.

RANDOMLY BETTER 2.0 VERSION- 2Wolf 2Ram: Tokyo Drift. Just sayin'. Think on it Wolfy. You're welcome.

HATFIELD & MC COY: E-TARDS

Sir Irv has compiled some of the greatest comebacks in The Boogie Knights’ on going e-tard feud between Nyce and Sully’s Sister Sullie. Irv’s edited out all the blah-blah-blah and focused on the Check, and then, the Mate.
(BTW - Itchy & Scratchie are busting each other’s chops over fantasy football.)

Sully’s-Sis-Sullie: “… you’re an old minivan and I’m a cute little VW.”
Nyce: “Punch-buggy-stoopid”

Nyce: “… i get to pee standing up. HA!”
Sully’s-Sis-Sullie: “it’s one thing to have a vajeen, it’s another to be a vajeen”

Sully’s-Sis-Sullie & Nyce [‘almost simultaneously’ on repeated / retarded occasions]: “Favre-U!”

Sully’s-Sis-Sullie: “… gotta go JERK, gotta date.”
Nyce: “the navy in town?”

Nyce: “… admit it! im right!”
Sully’s-Sis-Sullie: “easy. nobody wants to see yur lipstick size, child boner”

ACTUALLY MUCH, MUCH BETTER: Check out vimeo.com. It's like YouTube's more original, better quality, less retarded cousin. Here's what we're talking about: (Umm, FAME much? This is pretty awesome. I wonder which one is supposed to be CoCo in this re-boot? - NYCE)

Nyle "Let The Beat Build" from Nyle on Vimeo.

We suggest you sign up. If you don't "get" it, just continue watching e-tarded-webcam-leave brit'ney alone-type bullshit on YouTube. Oh yeah, that rocks shitstick!