July 30, 2009


Not you're average asshole. Well maybe he is. Here's his first interview since like... umm the last one didn't go that well. Ask Jo Jo's publicist. On second hand, don't. FYI, he really did think she was of age at the time. We kid, we kid...

Here's a samplin' of our boy's perspective on Montreal's Goalie:

FANIQ: How do you feel about Carey Price?

Twenty year-old millionaires should NOT be unleashed in Montreal. EVER. If they ever get an NBA team in Montreal, look out. There will be so many stories, photos and cell-cam videos that we are all going to have to CTRL+ALT+DELETE the internet at the same time to unfreeze it.

Read the entire article here.



July 27, 2009


Rarely do all 4 of The Boogie Knights agree on a movie, but this needs to be seen. Eight thumbs up! (FYI, there are some great cameos, just sayin' we LOVE a good cameo.)

"It does for the war in Iraq what
'The Wire' did for the war on drugs."
- The Boogie Knights

July 22, 2009


With all the blogs, message boards, talk radio, cable news scrolls and instant access to information in general, we now live in a world where rumor has replaced the lead as the focus of what constitutes news.

You no longer need a reliable source; you just need a source, which is “close to the situation.” Basically, your source knows a guy who knows a guy. It’s an urban legend approach to news gathering. Over the years, Eddie Murphy became Mike Tyson who became Michael Jordan who became Will Smith who became LeBron James who gave a lady a bouquet of $100 bills for a misunderstanding in an elevator. [citation needed] In sports it’s banned substances. Over the years, uppers became cocaine, which became ephedrine, which became steroids, which became HGH as the speculative lead to run with until we find out exactly what player X took. If you have a cold or are on a diet, there's a good chance you coudn't pass a sports drug test. Genetic Enhancers the media can't wait for you to get here soon enough.

Every major news outlet has adopted this philosophy of blurring the line between news and rumor. This is to the detriment of actual stories in an actual news cycle. There is no such thing as a “probable” fact, that’s just a hypothesis which needs to be proven which is just an opinion based on a subjective, poorly calculated assumption. That’s not ‘news’ worthy to be broken.

Read the rest of Nyce's featured article on the faniq.com after the jump.

July 15, 2009

July 8, 2009


In the end his daughter's words were heartfelt. It was sad.

Now, to all you "fans" crawling out of every little nook and cranny to gush over the great dead king, literally and figuratively (His fuckin' gold casket was on stage during his arena-wake for crissake! Why?) ...allow me to retort.

First of all, for the last 25 years we've ALL made derogatory MJ jokes or heard one and laughed or just simply called him bat shit crazy. He was. He lived crazy and died crazy - under the supervision of some witch doctor he hired to live with him! Unless you're terminally ill or whatever, why do you have a doctor living in your home overseeing your health or lack there of? Why?

B) In a million years if you were accused of doing what "they" said he did to little boys, would you simply throw money at it to make it go away? Still not sure? Riddle me this, would you let your child spend a night at the Neverland Ranch? Why?

iii) Google him and check out the images. A clear descent into madness. Forget the Vitiligo, I'm talking about the plastic surgery. Two dozen? Fifty procedures? Why?

Why did he buy test tube babies and stick 'em in surrogates to make a family? Why did he recently become a nomad? Why was he constantly seeking media attention only to shy away from it once it swarmed? Why did he let his life become so absolutely strange? Why?

And, why do people feel the need to hysterically grieve someone they have never met? Why all the overt hypocrisy? Why?

I'll let the King of Pop answer it for you:
If They Say -
Why, Why, Tell 'Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way
If They Say -
Why, Why, Tell 'Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way

We'll see you at the crossroads Michael, except we won't stop and talk or even acknowledge that we know you. Why? Because most of us probably won't recognize you, that's why. Well at least your daughter will and it might still be sad.

Just sayin',

Okay, one more. that's it, pinky swear. Why didn't his fuckin' dance moves change from 1984 on? Why, why - tell 'em dat-dat dat-dat dat-dah...